Why isn't it like in the movies?!

A reoccurring theme in any single woman's life... love. Where is it? I have found love, lost love, been engaged and lived with a man... and now it's just me. Sometimes I wonder if being "in love" will interfere too much with being me... and so it has not happened like it happens in the movies... you meet, you fall in love, you make mad passionate love, you get married... I've made it all the way up to the you get married part. I am OK with this. I can't imagine being married right now. That means I would have someone else to make plans with for the future, someone else's goals to think about besides my own... o.k. honestly I would not mind thinking and dreaming up the future with a partner... but it is nice to know that I am the only one I have to worry about right now. Esp. since I have plenty to worry about all on my own. And I know that in the past I have lost myself in relationships. I have spent too much time worrying about the other person and less time focusing on what I need and want for me... and no one else. I believe I was put on this earth with special gifts to give.... now if I could just figure out what they are. ;) Ive been told by intuitive people that I was meant to do something healing with art but what that is, I haven't a clue. And honestly part of my search for what I am "meant" to do is starting right here on this blog. It's all about me. Ha. I know that I need to do some real soul searching to find out what I need to be doing in life. And what better way to do that than to look closely at what life is telling me and to try and decode it. So, no "love of my life" - yet. Well, I better get moving on the me part so that when that man walks into my life that I want nothing more than to waste my days lying in bed talking to him I will be able to do that freely because I have some other things figured out first.  For now I'll just smile because I know that love is out there. I also know that I have so much love in my life already that I don't need to hurry on finding a "love of my life". For now I'll just Smile.