What if you fly?

 

I've been told that I have a hard time seeing really far into the future. That actually planning or having the ability to make long term goals is a difficulty for me. And honestly I think it's true. There have been times in my life that I couldn't see beyond what I had in that moment, the ability to see how I would dig myself out of the hole I felt like I was in.  There have been times that I have had big ideas and thoughts but the fear of failing, the fear that I would never realize my true potential felt so stifling that I felt paralyzed. I would do things to waste my time and feel like I had no control over the situation I was in. When the TRUTH of the matter was/is that we are always in control. We can control how we feel, think, communicate and generally react to situations in our own lives. But so many times the fear of failure keeps us from realizing our own amazing abilities. What if that fear wasn't there? What would be the worst thing that could happen? Would that really be so bad? What would be the best thing that would happen? And how AMAZING would that be if it did happen?

 Let us let go of our fears, let us all fly.

20 things Happy People Never do

This is a great reminder. 

1. They don't ignore strangers.
2. They don't give anything in order to get something in return.
3. They don't distrust themselves.
4. They don't think with their heads, but rather with their hearts.
5. They don't take anything personally.
6. They don't believe their fear is real.
7. They don't refuse to forgive.
8. They don't body bash themselves or others.
9. They don't try to change anyone; they accept everyone for who they are.
10. They don't feel obligated to do things they don't want to.
11. They don't ignore their inner guidance.
12. They don't resist change.
13. They don't stay in a situation that no longer serves them... ever.
14. They don't look outside of themselves to be happy.
15. They don't ignore their dreams and inner desires.
16. They don't think they are broken or that they need to be fixed.
17. They don't judge others.
18. They don't complain.
19. They don't avoid risk
20. They don't blame others and they take full responsibility for their lives.

From http://www.mindbodygreen.com 

Introversion

I recently read an article about introversion. I am most definitely, 100% x 20 an introvert. I've known that for a long time. But not when I was young. When you are a child and an introvert you get labeled shy and quiet. You get asked questions like why don't you talk more or why are you so quiet? At some point in my teens I remember feeling so unheard. I remember that when I did speak it felt like no one was listening because I hardly said anything anyway. I remember feeling like it was easier to not say anything and to just observe everyone else be extroverts. 

There were places, there were people, where I was able to be myself and talked a lot and told really good stories that I mostly made up and people thought I was awesome. Well, because I am. But, I didn't feel that way everywhere. I didn't feel like I fit in with my peers and those I wanted to be like. The truth was, I wasn't like them. Some days I still struggle  with my introverted ways. That need to go home when I'm done and not feel like I'm missing out on anything. The days when my energy is so low and talking to other people just exhausts me. 

I find it really hard being with my family. My family is awesome. I love them all so much. But, they don't stop - they are extroverts. I need alone time, down time... time to recharge with out people demanding my energy and its really hard to do when we are on vacation together and we go non stop. I find myself wondering what is wrong with me? Why can't I just pull it together and keep going? Everyone else is. 

It's really hard to remember that I need to recharge in different ways than everyone else. Sometimes I feel sad to say that people drain me.  I'm an introvert and I'll bet you that a lot people I work with would think I'm an extrovert. If I'm having an off day people will ask me why I'm so quiet because it's unusual. Which makes me giggle a little some times. I feel like a lot of why I seem extroverted is because I am super comfortable with who I am. It has taken me a long time to get here but I am here. I love who I am. Sure, I make mistakes and I don't always say or do the "right" thing. We are all human and I do truly believe life is a work in progress. As I sit here and think of how far I've come in loving and accepting myself it makes me smile and feel a little teary eyed. I know it took me a long time to get here. I don't think that I could be where I am without all the hard times. All the days where I learned the lessons about people and about myself. As I sit here a song is playing by Ben Howard that I feel is a great reminder to us all as we journey through life.

"Keep your head up, keep your heart strong." 

And then a few of my most relatable introverted "signs" from the article I read... the link is below.

1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome. 
2. You go to parties -– but not to meet people.
7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.
8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards. 
10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.
14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends. 
15. You notice details that others don't. 
16. You have a constantly running inner monologue. 
18. You’ve been called an “old soul” -– since your 20s. 
19. You don't feel "high" from your surroundings 
20. You look at the big picture. 
21. You’ve been told to “come out of your shell.”
22. You’re a writer. 
23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity. 

23 signs You're secretly an introvert








    

Everything is really happening all at once for me right now. I am in the middle of trying to buy a house, I just got a promotion at work, I am trying to grow a business at home and I am on a 21 day sugar detox diet. And in the middle of this I've been hit with the reality that if I buy this house I am saying goodbye to the hopes that I will one day be with the man I love who happens to live in another state. When it rains it pours. 

 

It's interesting that I'm cleansing my body at the same time that I am trying to make this huge life decision. Life can be scary. It seems that I was going along with not a whole lot going on for a while and now my life has become non stop physical and emotional exhaustion. But that is the wave I'm on right now. I am making choices that will impact my life for a long time. The thing is that every day we are making choices that will impact our life. We just don't always know that is what we are doing. Some days I wish life were like the movies, all wrapped up in a pretty box and working out as it should. I think that happens for some people. I'm not one of them. And it's not because I don't deserve it. I think I am a person who is always seeking something else. I can't be content with what I am either expected to do or what seems like the easiest path. I can't do something I don't enjoy for very long. I can't pretend to be happy about something that I'm not happy about. I've never been a very good actress. I'm honest and upfront and the older I get the less of a filter I have. Maybe that means I'm figuring it all out.