Everything is really happening all at once for me right now. I am in the middle of trying to buy a house, I just got a promotion at work, I am trying to grow a business at home and I am on a 21 day sugar detox diet. And in the middle of this I've been hit with the reality that if I buy this house I am saying goodbye to the hopes that I will one day be with the man I love who happens to live in another state. When it rains it pours.
It's interesting that I'm cleansing my body at the same time that I am trying to make this huge life decision. Life can be scary. It seems that I was going along with not a whole lot going on for a while and now my life has become non stop physical and emotional exhaustion. But that is the wave I'm on right now. I am making choices that will impact my life for a long time. The thing is that every day we are making choices that will impact our life. We just don't always know that is what we are doing. Some days I wish life were like the movies, all wrapped up in a pretty box and working out as it should. I think that happens for some people. I'm not one of them. And it's not because I don't deserve it. I think I am a person who is always seeking something else. I can't be content with what I am either expected to do or what seems like the easiest path. I can't do something I don't enjoy for very long. I can't pretend to be happy about something that I'm not happy about. I've never been a very good actress. I'm honest and upfront and the older I get the less of a filter I have. Maybe that means I'm figuring it all out.
