Thursday, February 21, 2013

Change

"There’s no such thing as a 'little change,' in the sense of it being a change that doesn’t matter. All change in one’s life matters, because change is creation, and creation matters."


Neale Donald Walsch ♥
 
Change.
Oh, boy can I feel it happening. I am angry. I am angry with the way my life is right now. Anger usually stirs up sadness in me, and so I've been crying... a lot. Yesterday at work every little thing set me off. People would say hello in a strange way and I wouldn't like them... and then the tears would come from nowhere while I was talking to someone on the phone. Thank goodness that I was not on a video phone! But what this all really feels like to me is that the universe is nudging, is telling me that I have to change. I have to change what I am doing and now. I have come to this comfortable place in a job that I do really well at but am paid miserably for and I am ready to get out. But, you can't just quit your day job now, can you? Oh, if only I played the lottery and won it, of course. 
So, the seeds of change are on my mind. I am scared out of my skull most of the time because I am going into uncharted territory for me, trying to do things that I have no idea how they work. But that has NEVER stopped me before. I am the girl who decided she was going to bake bread for farmer's markets and went out and read a book about how to do it and then did it, well, I might add. I baked over 100 loaves a weekend. I kinda rock like that. 
The difference between then and now is that I have learned SO MUCH. I mean so much has happened in the last 10 years and I'm not so keen on using all my credit on my credit cards to start a business.  I have the support of my amazing parents who seem to have total faith that I will make this happen if I come up with the plan. Which is awesome but honestly it is really overwhelming. I have tried so many things and failed, haven't I? Or have I just been bored and stopped what I was doing? Whatever it was - what if it happens again? 
Today I am focusing on the future. On what I have in my head swirling around as the positive and great plan to have my own business that I am proud of. When I think about having that - my OWN business that I am PROUD of - I want to cry tears of joy. This feeling that I want to create my own space creating my own creations with people that I choose to work with - this is what pushes me forward to change. I know in my heart of hearts - in my soul - what I should be doing. Right now my soul is yelling that what I am doing is not it. 
change.
I just have to change. One step at a time I will get there. And when I get there I am going to be the proudest person for accomplishing something that feels so scary and so hard and tough and overwhelming. I know I can do it.
 I will do it. 
I can change. 
I will change.

Monday, February 18, 2013

12 THINGS YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY ABOUT YOURSELF.


1. I am following my heart and intuition.
Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. Live the life you want to live. Be the person you want to remember years from now. Make decisions and act on them. Make mistakes, fall and try again. Even if you fall a thousand times, at least you won’t have to wonder what could have been. At least you will know in your heart that you gave your dreams your best shot.

Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something. It’s our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit. This is your life, and it’s a short one. Don’t let others extinguish your flame. Try what you want to try. Go where you want to go. Follow your own intuition. Dream with your eyes open until you know exactly what it looks like. Then do at least one thing every day to make it a reality.

And as you strive to achieve your goals, you can count on there being some fairly substantial disappointments along the way. Don’t get discouraged, the road to your dreams may not be an easy one. Think of these disappointments as challenges – tests of persistence and courage. At the end of the road, more often than not, we regret what we didn’t do far more than what we did. Read Quitter.

2. I am proud of myself.
You are your own best friend and your own biggest critic. Regardless of the opinions of others, at the end of the day the only reflection staring back at you in the mirror is your own. Accept everything about yourself – EVERYTHING! You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.

People who are proud of themselves tend to have passions in life, feel content and set good examples for others. It requires envisioning the person you would like to become and making your best efforts to grow.

Being proud isn’t bragging about how great you are; it’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot. It’s not about thinking you’re perfect – because nobody is – but knowing that you’re worthy of being loved and accepted. All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live – the story of your own unique life. Be proud, be confident, you never know who has been looking at you wishing they were you.

3. I am making a difference.
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.

Is it true that we all live to serve? That by helping others we fulfill our own destiny? The answer is a simple ‘yes.’ When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.

You are only one, but you are one. You cannot do everything, but you can do something. Smile and enjoy the fact that you made a difference – one you’ll likely remember forever.

4. I am happy and grateful.
Happiness is within you, in your way of thinking. How you view yourself and your world are mindful choices and habits. The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you feel about yourself and everything that happens around you.

Being grateful will always make you happy. If you’re finding it hard to be grateful for anything, sit down close your eyes and take a long slow breath and be grateful for oxygen. Every breath you take is in sync with someone’s last.

5. I am growing in to the best version of me.
Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.” Live by this statement. There is no such thing as living in someone else’s shoes. The only shoes you can occupy are your own. If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing.

Remember, trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Improve continuously, take care of your body and health, and surround yourself with positivity. Become the best version of you.

6. I am making my time count.
Time is the most valuable constituent of life. Make the time for what does matter today. Really being in the moment, finding passion in your life, seeing the world and traveling, or just seeing the world that’s around you right now, being with great people, doing amazing things, eating amazing food and savoring life’s little pleasures.

Remember, your time is priceless, but it’s free. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can spend it, but you can’t keep it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back. You really do only have a short period to live. So let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words. Make your time count!

7. I am honest with myself.
Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on.

Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Four Agreements.

8. I am good to those I care about.
In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart. So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words. Stay in touch with those who matter to you. Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.

When was the last time you told your family and close personal friends that you loved them? Just spending a little time with someone shows that you care, shows that they are important enough that you’ve chosen — out of all the things to do on your busy schedule — to find the time for them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Understand them.

Many times it’s our actions, not just our words that really speak what our heart feels for another.

9. I know what unconditional love feels like.
Whether your love is towards a child, a lover, or another family member, know the feeling of giving love and not expecting anything in return – this is what lies at the heart of unconditional love. Life through unconditional love is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight. This love is a dynamic and powerful energy that lifts us through the most difficult times.

Love is beautiful and unpredictable. It begins with ourselves, for without self-love, we cannot know what true love can be. In loving ourselves, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us. When you love unconditionally, it isn’t because the person you love is perfect, it’s because you learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

10. I have forgiven those who once hurt me.
We’ve all been hurt by another person at some point or another – we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt. And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over, letting them live rent-free in our head and we have a hard time letting go.

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, it causes us to miss out on the beauty of life as it happens. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

11. I take full accountability for my life.
Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.

You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence. Read The Road Less Traveled.

12. I have no regrets.
This one is simply a culmination of the previous eleven…

Follow your heart. Be true to yourself. Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you smile. Laugh as much as you breathe. Love as long as you live. Say what you need to say. Offer a helping hand when you’re able. Appreciate all the things you do have. Smile. Celebrate your small victories. Learn from your mistakes. Realize that everything is a lesson in disguise. Forgive. And let go of the things you can’t control.



 


Sunday, February 17, 2013


Something to strive for everyday! 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

"Every light has its darkness and every darkness has its light. You must be open to see Both in order to see its ultimate beauty as Oneness. To see one extreme and neglect the other is ignorance & not bliss."

Anon ♥

Fear

I have had A LOT of fear come up lately.  I didn't even know that was what I was feeling until it just came out. I'm afraid. There are so many reasons for this feeling. I mean who am I to start a business and make a bunch of money? Who am I to be extremely successful and be happy with I am doing? I know, I know...  I'm an awesome person and all and I got a lot going for me but here I am at almost 34 and I'm stuck. I'm stuck at a job that I happen to be really good at but pays me horribly. I have a car that is about to die on me and I can't afford to fix due to the job that doesn't pay me enough for the work I'm doing. I'm afraid because I feel like I have failed at other things that I have started or because other projects that I have started haven't "panned out" the way I thought they would have. Who am I to say this will be different?

It's almost funny because there are days that I feel so "different" than I used to feel. So much more like myself, like I know myself, I know what I want I know who I am... I just KNOW. 5 years ago I couldn't say that. I was in transition leaving all (most) of my friends and family, moving to a new city because it's where I FELT like I should be. I do a lot of things in my life because it feels right. I look back at who I was then and I think I lacked a lot of self confidence that I now feel that I have. BUT there is this piece of fear that I can't seem to let go of... Ugh!

The past two days I have been through a storm of emotions about all the things lacking in my life. The people I wish were a part of my daily life, the way I wish things were different, how hard it is to work all the time and to feel well and happy and full of life.

And now I want to focus on all that I do have.

I have amazing friends. A community or multiple communities of supporting people. I have dance. I  live in this beautiful place. I have great housemates. I have the most supportive family ever. I love where I live. I am healthy and I am exercising in a way that feels great for me. I can feel happy most days and focus on positive things in life. I see the beauty in life and I know that is a blessing in itself.

With everything going on sometimes life is just so overwhelming. I know I can do this thing. I know I can accomplish GREAT things. I know I capable of amazing things. I know its there. I just need to push myself past the fear into the light, into the knowing that it will all be alright.

"If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves. "
Thomas A. Edison