LOVE

Words. In other languages there is like 100 different words for all the different kinds of love out there. So how can we as English speaking people know which kind of love we feel for another person when there is only one word? I like the word love. I love a lot of people. But I don't love them all equally. There is a strong love in my heart for a man out there in the world... a man that is not sure what he wants. I know what I want. I want his love. And the thing is that I have it. I just don't have it in the way that I want it. Fully and unconditionally and in the I wanna make babies and spend the rest of my life together love. No. What we have right now is an amazing friendship. The kind of friendship that I want to have with my future husband. This kind of love is hard to let go of. This kind of love is hard to find. When there is such an intimate and deep connection just talking to some one on the phone... even when they are hundreds of miles away. I don't think that the way two people connect really changes over the course of time. I mean sure you learn more about a person and your feelings about them may change but when there is a special connection there I believe it is always there. There have been three major loves in my life. Two of them I still talk to regularly. The other we have just drifted apart... not in a bad way... if I saw him tomorrow I would so give him a hug.  I still have love for him. I have love for the things he taught me and the way that I grew up and out of that relationship. Of all of my relationships. As for today my heart is a little hurt by love. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop looking for it. I've found that love finds you when you least expect it too. Now getting it to stick around for the long haul that's something I can't figure out how to have happen... I suppose one day it just does or it just doesn't. For today I living like I have all the love in the world that I need and that no one can make me or break me. But someday I hope to find a lasting love... one that will be true through and through. But for today I will just smile at what I have and keep on loving...