I am about to apply for a job I am good at. I kinda like it too. I mean, it's interesting and challenging and I am good at it. (wait, I just said that) I like a challenge. I like logic puzzles and helping people figure out how to get from here to there. I like helping people. (oh, I just repeated myself, again) And while on the outside I try to exude patience and understanding there are times when my patience is tried, my understanding lost and I want to just roll my eyes and give up. Ok, so maybe I really want to shake the person and be like "Have you not learned anything from the past 6 weeks of training!?" But, really... I feel some sense of gratification that I have knowledge that I can impart on people and that people are grateful for what I can give. But at the end of the day I am exhausted and just ready to go to bed. Where does time go anymore?
The thing is that there are these two very different sides of me. I have this part of me that wants to create aesthetically pleasing things that make people happy to use. I want to create art and I want people to appreciate the art that I create. And then there is this very logical and rule following (In fact I have been called a rule nazi) part of me that just wants someone to tell me what to do and I do it, I will do it well too. This rule following part of me has always been at battle with the part of me that wants to be in charge. Because, I honestly don't like people telling me to do things that are anything but logical. So, what's a rule following, anti-authority girl supposed to do? Apply to be the boss! Or start my own business. So, today I am choosing both. Even though I know in the end one will prevail over the other. In my heart of hearts I am hoping my business will explode into something else and I will not have to have a boss over me anymore. But, for now if I can get some more authority and some more money along with that (ideal) I would be able to put more money towards my dreams and goals. Because dreams don't have an expiration date.
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